Friday, April 17, 2009

Are you looking for me too?

Oh my, you're probably going to wonder where in the heck this post came from. But I have such scary good news I must share it with y'all. And who knows, some of you might be doing the same thing or might have gone through it. Here goes....
About a year and a half ago, I was in my last semester of actual coursework in grad school. It was the semester before my student teaching. I was taking a class about mulitculturalism. It was an interesting course. I had to write a paper on where I came from including my heritage for one of my grades. Basically, what made up the person that I am. My parents know nothing. They were never curious; so, it never dawned on them to write the information down or to keep a tree. Well, I am curious. Always have and still am. So, I decided to start on my journey with ancestry.com. I contacted some great aunts and got the ball rolling. I ended up connecting with other family member's trees which helped alot as well. Some I am still stuck on b/c names quite often got changed back then i.e. a letter was dropped off, a letter was added, a letter was changed, etc. Well, I quit working on it b/c I was a broke college student at the time and couldn't afford the extra 20 bucks a month after the free 14 day trial b/c I was a broke. Now, that I'm done with Catholic classes I decided to get back on there. My Mother out of the blue informed me that she remembered being told once that my Grandmother had a baby girl before her and gave her up for adoption. She wasn't 100% sure if this actually happened since my Gma only spoke of it rarely. I contacted my Great Aunt who would be the only one still alive and old enough to remember, and sure enough, indeed, it is true. I am lucky. My great aunt gave me more information than most people have when they start. I know my Mother's sister's name (the name my Gma named her), the birth father's name, her birthplace, and that she was born in either 1955 or 1956. I contacted a Christian agency who referred me to the TN Dept. of Child Services. I had a long conversation with the lady there. Basically, I cannot do anything b/c my Mother has to be the one. They do not give information to nieces or nephews. I am going to type up a letter to the state as told and have my Mother sign it requesting information on the adoption of this little girl. The state will then in fact contact the woman and ask permission to grant us permission to view the records. If she does that, we may then request a search to contact her and see if she will want to talk to us. That's the scary part. What if she says no. What if she doesn't want to meet us. What if she doesn't want to know about us. What if something happened to her. What if she's not okay. What if she does want to meet us. What if she's been looking for us. The process isn't the scary part. It's the what ifs that are......

10 comments:

Natalie said...

What ifs are scary, but so is the prospect of never knowing.
I was adopted as an infant, but then went back to my birth mother at 7 months old. When I was 19, my adopted mother contacted me. It was such a surreal experience, but one I wouldn't trade for anything. I'm so glad she made that call.

Katie Lake said...

How exciting! I hope everything works out!

Jennifer said...

That is so neat! I hope that everything goes well and that the what ifs work out for the best. My dad has a half brother that none of us have ever met. I have actually wanted to find him, but I was scared of the what ifs and had no idea where to start. Good Luck!

Lil' Woman said...

Wow, thats exciting!
My dad is adopted and I always wanted to find out about him but everyone is pretty mum about it.

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

So exciting! My mother was adopted and I have forever wondered about her birth family/story.

Raining Pearls said...

Exciting. God has a plan for her and you and your Mother. I t will all unfold as He wishes. Trust in Him.

PS. I've become more trusting in Him because of you :)

Blondie said...

I tried looking up my history but my father and mother didn't know a lot of their great-grandparents, or aunts or uncles...so on..so on.. oh well maybe one day I will learn some more. You have to be stoked to learn more about you and your family. That is very cool. I know things will work out for you.

Tara Gibson said...

wow that is really exciting! Hope everything works out!!

a H.I.T. said...

It's scary but exciting at the same time. Good luck with everything!

zentmrs said...

Good luck!! It can work out in a wonderful way. We have an annual family reunion (coming up on 40 years now). This past year, my mom's cousin Bob brought a new family member - his sister, who had been put up for adoption 60 years ago or so. No one had known about her. She contacted Bob and he (along with the rest of the family) welcomed her into the family. Really a great experience meeting her. Hope your story turns out just as well!

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