Miss Evil S.I.L.
9999 High Horse Lane
Memphis, TN 99999
9999 High Horse Lane
Memphis, TN 99999
Dearest Evil S.I.L. aka sister-in-law,
Hello, my most ignorant darling! I figure you will eventually be my future sister-in-law, and whilst I am not obliged, I do tolerate your rude behavior for LC's sake and not to mention my future-in-laws sake. I do thank you for setting LC and I up and will be forever grateful to you concerning that matter. However, I am very sorry that you are still angry, I assume, over the lack of a Halloween invitation being forwarded to you which put your boyfriend, my boyfriend's brother, out $40.00 for you to attend. Although, I did ask you numerous times if you were going to go out downtown, but you declined. You stated that your boyfriend thought the parties were for college kids, and he was too old for that. You both would be going over another friend's house. Now mind you, you came out the night before said party and were still unsure of plans. What you do not know Miss Evil is that my laptop is terribly slow and to forward the invites to the selected few was a tiring process before retiring to bed that evening. Since, you both are fickle and were still unsure, I retired to bed without going through the painstaking process of fighting with my laptop on FB in order to forward you said invite. I do apologize for the inconvenience it caused brother's pocketbook. Now, if you are still holding that grudge, I would daresay you should just let it go. I am assuming that you only say rude things because you are still holding such grudge. Regardless of the intent or motive for saying such rude things, I'd appreciate it if and when you come into my house, that you refrain from telling LC that my Puggy[see sidebar, isn't she adorable!] "stinks" and that Casa de Belle smells like "dog pi$$". First of all, I don't care if my dog smells like sewage and bile, do NOT, and I repeat, do NOT step foot in MY house and disrespect my child. Secondly, yes, my house may smell like dog, but I have been busy. It's called two jobs and a social life. An odor of urine, I think NOT. To make sure I am not being hasty or partial to it being my space, I called the Mrs. Belle who is the ultimate clean of all cleanliness to rectify this situation. (Mrs. Belle's credentials: passes the White Glove Test daily, not a cobweb in site, or an odor of ANY kind) Her first response was a "Oh my, no, she did not." Followed by, "No, your house has never smelled of urine. Dog, yes. Urine, no." When the OCD cleaner of all cleaners says no urine odor, I rest my case. Miss Evil, we are not best friends nor close as sisters. We see each other once a week at dinner with our future in-laws. There are no phone calls, emails, or friendly outings. In all reality, I would consider you merely an acquaintance. Yes, sometimes my place can be messy, and it can smell a tad like Puggy. But, when I have proper notice, Casa de Miss Belle smells like you just stepped into a White Candle Barn. I do not make it a point to tell your significant other about your faults and lack thereof in areas I will not mention, but, I, on the other hand, have been raised right. You are lacking in some home-training Miss Evil. If you'd like to borrow Mrs. Belle for lessons or a book on Southern etiquette, just let me know. I'll be more than obliged to get you what you need to be a more thoughtful person. I'd like to think you are just ignorant rather than ignoring the things that your mother has taught you.
Sincerely Your Pissed Off Future Sister-In-Law,
PS-I am Febreezing the Hell out of Casa de Miss Belle this weekend and attacking it with a vacuum. Thought you'd like to know.
Am I overreacting? Would your feelings be hurt too? Do you think she had a right to say such things? Also, any suggestions on the dog smell? I know alot of you ladies have inside dogs. How do you deal with the smell of "dog"?