Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Lots of Febreezing going on...

credit: themarcsteinershow.wordpress.com


Miss Evil S.I.L.
9999 High Horse Lane
Memphis, TN 99999


Dearest Evil S.I.L. aka sister-in-law,


Hello, my most ignorant darling! I figure you will eventually be my future sister-in-law, and whilst I am not obliged, I do tolerate your rude behavior for LC's sake and not to mention my future-in-laws sake. I do thank you for setting LC and I up and will be forever grateful to you concerning that matter. However, I am very sorry that you are still angry, I assume, over the lack of a Halloween invitation being forwarded to you which put your boyfriend, my boyfriend's brother, out $40.00 for you to attend. Although, I did ask you numerous times if you were going to go out downtown, but you declined. You stated that your boyfriend thought the parties were for college kids, and he was too old for that. You both would be going over another friend's house. Now mind you, you came out the night before said party and were still unsure of plans. What you do not know Miss Evil is that my laptop is terribly slow and to forward the invites to the selected few was a tiring process before retiring to bed that evening. Since, you both are fickle and were still unsure, I retired to bed without going through the painstaking process of fighting with my laptop on FB in order to forward you said invite. I do apologize for the inconvenience it caused brother's pocketbook. Now, if you are still holding that grudge, I would daresay you should just let it go. I am assuming that you only say rude things because you are still holding such grudge. Regardless of the intent or motive for saying such rude things, I'd appreciate it if and when you come into my house, that you refrain from telling LC that my Puggy[see sidebar, isn't she adorable!] "stinks" and that Casa de Belle smells like "dog pi$$". First of all, I don't care if my dog smells like sewage and bile, do NOT, and I repeat, do NOT step foot in MY house and disrespect my child. Secondly, yes, my house may smell like dog, but I have been busy. It's called two jobs and a social life. An odor of urine, I think NOT. To make sure I am not being hasty or partial to it being my space, I called the Mrs. Belle who is the ultimate clean of all cleanliness to rectify this situation. (Mrs. Belle's credentials: passes the White Glove Test daily, not a cobweb in site, or an odor of ANY kind) Her first response was a "Oh my, no, she did not." Followed by, "No, your house has never smelled of urine. Dog, yes. Urine, no." When the OCD cleaner of all cleaners says no urine odor, I rest my case. Miss Evil, we are not best friends nor close as sisters. We see each other once a week at dinner with our future in-laws. There are no phone calls, emails, or friendly outings. In all reality, I would consider you merely an acquaintance. Yes, sometimes my place can be messy, and it can smell a tad like Puggy. But, when I have proper notice, Casa de Miss Belle smells like you just stepped into a White Candle Barn. I do not make it a point to tell your significant other about your faults and lack thereof in areas I will not mention, but, I, on the other hand, have been raised right. You are lacking in some home-training Miss Evil. If you'd like to borrow Mrs. Belle for lessons or a book on Southern etiquette, just let me know. I'll be more than obliged to get you what you need to be a more thoughtful person. I'd like to think you are just ignorant rather than ignoring the things that your mother has taught you.


Sincerely Your Pissed Off Future Sister-In-Law,
Miss Belle
PS-I am Febreezing the Hell out of Casa de Miss Belle this weekend and attacking it with a vacuum. Thought you'd like to know.



Am I overreacting? Would your feelings be hurt too? Do you think she had a right to say such things? Also, any suggestions on the dog smell? I know alot of you ladies have inside dogs. How do you deal with the smell of "dog"?

11 comments:

KLC said...

Ok are we dating the same guy here? Haha my future SIL is beyond psycho and she was the one to set is up! Plus I'm northern belle and you sourthern belle... Too funny!

My advice to you is to simply ignore her. Live your life as if she doesn't exist. It's really the only thing that seems to work for us. Good luck!

tintarosa said...

F-SIL (that would be future sister-in-law) should have shut her pie hole! Walking into someone's home and complaining of smells and/or pets is flat out rude.
When we first moved into our house, our sleep-inside-at-night-because-I-bark-at-squirrels-all-night dog got sprayed by a skunk. She was immediately bannished from the house and learned to love her new outdoor home. Febreeze will do the trick for sure.
I always have cleaning supplies near the front door so I can always claim that I was "just cleaning up."

Natalie said...

I have a giant dog inside & use febreeze & the wall flowers from Bath & Bodyworks. I stock up when they're on sale & have never had a problem with an odor.

She had no right telling you your house smelled. It's one thing if she's your BFF & helping you out, but she barely knows you.. She should have STFU.

Jennifer said...

I am so sorry you S.I.L. said that. I would be so mad! Maybe I am crazy, but I have never noticed my house smelling like dog. Lucky lives inside and sheads like no one's business. I have hair everywhere unless I dust and vacumn everyday (which I don't), but I haven't ever noticed a dog smell. I use Febreeze when I think about it and Lucky gets a bath every weekend. He also wears clothes :) I like to think it holds in the hair and smell! Sorry I can't help.
P.S. I am going to ask Thomas if my house smells like a dog. Maybe I am just used to the smell!?!

Raining Pearls said...

How rude... She lacks a bit in the class department. I would be just as hurt. I'm sure your place smells great :)

I hope you feel better after writing that letter, even if she will never read it at least you got it off your chest.

short southern momma said...

YOU are totally right!!! I can fully understand about a messy house (have 2 jobs myself) and the doggie poo (my front porch is the potty right now for a bunch of puppies) if people dont understand that you are busy and you dont want to spend your one free second cleaning something that is just going to get messed up again the next day....then they dont have to come over!! LOL

I seen a shirt one time and it said it all....."my house was clean yesterday---wish you could have seen it" sooo funny!

The Pink Chick said...

How rude! She needs to get over herself. I am sure your house smells fine. She is just being a witch! If I lived closer, I would totally come over and kick her really hard for you! :)

Little Pink Magnolia said...

I would be fuming. I would have gotten out some really potent room spray and sprayed her right out of the house.

Blondie said...

I love the letter! You took the high road which isn't easy. She needs to get a life and leave you alone. I guess someone didn't teach her that if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all. Who is she to judge? Don't listen to her. She isn't worth your time. I understand being hurt but really do you want to care about someone that has nothing better to do than run her mouth for no good reason? Ignore her, I would.

Practically Perfect... said...

Oh my goodness, that is horrifying! Even if you think someone's house smells, you don't SAY it!!! Yikes!

CAC muffin said...

oh my gosh your letter cracks me up!
sounds like your future sister in law is just a petty jerk. dont let her get to you! You're above that!

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