Oh Lawdy....2 days hurry up!

So, as most of you know I am nearing the end of my two weeks at my current job. And, these last two working days will NOT past by soon enough. I have my exit interview on Monday as well as lunch with my boss. Don't get me wrong, I haven't really minded my job as an assistant, and my boss ROCKS. It's hard to find a fair and caring boss these days AND, I'm thankful to have a job in the first place. But, I was moved to assisting a crazy, cuckoo bird lady a couple of months ago, and well, she's driving me insane!

These are just a few highlights that I will NOT miss from my current job:

Crazy Lady excerpts that were said to me or my other co-worker:

Hey Lovebug or Love or Doll (pronounced do-ahl), or Cupcake, will you make a copy of this please. no my name is not cupcake, love, doll, lovebug, or anything other pet name you choose to make up! and no i don't want to make a darn copy either.

[Conversation between co-worker and I over an email] Co-worker: That's a big baby. My baby was only 5lbs. Me: [opening mouth and crazy lady butts in before I could say a word!]Your baby was small because you're a smoker. Co-worker says: No, I quit smoking when I found out I was pregnant. Well, you're still a smoker so that's why you had a small baby. who says that to someone??!?!?!

This is the last pack of paper. Me: Uh, okay. It says on here "last pack of paper. please refill". Me: normally, when someone gets the last pack of paper and it says that, they go get more paper. [cuckoo bird takes paper out of pack, leaves packing on counter, puts paper in printer, returns to office] she doesn't even throw away the package the paper was in. laaaaaazzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyy. it's not 1952 lady, you can get more paper. it's not an "assistant job" it's an everybody job. sheesh!

I left you a message because I wanted to know if you could go into my office and see if my glasses were in there. hmmmmmmm, you wonder why i screen your calls. no, i don't want to go into your office to check to see if your "eyeglasses" are in there. if you don't have them with you already, what does it matter anyways?!?!?!

Me: Since I was out on Friday, did X have their courier bring back the papers? No, no, I don't have them. [asked about papers for almost 5 days. co-worker overhears and informed me she put papers on crazy lady's desk on friday and she was in there.][Crazy lady comes over holding log]....it says here they were dropped off on Friday. Me: Uh, remember I wasn't here on Friday. I don't have them. Co-worker: Remember I put them on your desk in your office on Friday. Maybe, they are in the stacks of papers. Here lovebug, here they are. Me: [insert sweet, sarcastic voice here] where were they??  maybe you can't find anything because you have stacks of crap everywhere.


I seriously could go on and on if you'd let me. However, I am going to spare you. I mean seriously. This is just from the past four days. And on top of that, not only is Crazy Lady well, uh, crazy, she's also mean. She is old, and she talks down to us. I know the position I'm leaving is a clerical one since I am an assistant after all, but I know that my job entails making copies and processing documents and what not. But lady, I'm a human being. So, Crazy Lady aka Cuckoo Bird, Au Revoir and have fun making your own copies:)