Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Identity Crisis

I wasn't sure if I wanted to write this post or not, but here goes...

Ok, I wasn't sure if I'm only the person who felt this way. I surely cannot be the only one who had an "identity crisis" when it came to changing my name after marriage. You know I didn't get married til this year at the age of 31 1/2. I've had my name for a long time. Probably what is considered a third of my life. I didn't get married in my early to mid twenties, and our name is always what we are identified by in a sense. I didn't realize it til after we were married, but I felt like I was kind of attached to my name. After all, it had been mine for thirty-one years. When I was engaged, I didn't give it much thought. I was just so excited about marrying the love of my life. It didn't hit me until I went to the Social Security office to change my name that I would be changing something that I'd had for so long. It was kind of sad. It's like the end of an era. 

How does that song go..."Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

I decided to keep my name. I just moved it over to have two middle names. I know alot of girls in the South drop their middle name and replace it with their maiden name, but the name I go by is a combination of my first and middle name. It'd be weird to not have it. So, I have two middle names. LC made fun of this of course, but hey what's a Southern girl to do?? haha! I just wasn't sure if others struggled with this. Also, it's weird having a new last name. Sometimes I catch myself still writing my old last name or introducing myself with my old name. I'm sure I'll eventually get used to it. Hopefully! Haha:)

And here's a couple of goodies for you thirtysomethings (remember when you used to sing this song at the top of your lungs and especially if you worked retail and were closing it up at night. This was my jam!!!!!!!)


Personalized Gifts

13 comments:

Meredith said...

I like the way you do it, to each their own and I agree, i don't know that I would want to lose my identity of what I've gone by for the past 29 years too. Maybe if i had gotten married real young, but I've lived with my name for almost 30 years, so i'd feel the same way!!

Steph@ Living The Young Life said...

hey gal, I was the same way.. I just moved my last name to my middle name and now have my husbands last name.. I'm soo glad i done it that way..i just felt like it was who i was and he was added in to the mix lol..

Melissa said...

I felt the exact same way! I decided that I like my names and didn't want to drop any of them so I just added my new last name. Now I guess I have 2 middle names. Kinda long, but I don't care!

Lo @ Not Your Average Southern Belle said...

I kept my name too! I was named after my uncle Loren so growing up I was always called by my first and middle - Lauren Elizabeth - so I felt weird dropping it in favor of my maiden name as a middle. Glad I'm not weird and I'm not the only one!

I thought about not changing my name at all because my old name is phonetically prettier lol...and my initials spell my dad's middle name, but M was NOT having any of that!

sarah said...

i totally am with you on this one. so many of my friends got married recently and have been having this discussion non stop bc they all feel torn about it. when it comes time to be my turn ive already decided to do what you did and just add onto my name instead of dropping one..i wouldnt feel right without it!

katie lake said...

I had a hard time with this as well. My dad raised me as a single parent from the time I was 13 so I had a big problem feeling like I was losing part of who I was. My middle name is a family name and I was originally supposed to go by my first & middle when I was born. I considered keeping my middle name and adding my maiden name in as another middle name as well. In the end it was just way too long (23 letters) so I did the traditional thing.

Whitney said...

I've been thinking about that too, JM. I think I'll keep my middle and last name as my middle. It's a total of 8 letters anyway!

Mrs. Lovely said...

You are right, the Southern tradition is to drop you middle name and move your maiden name there. I dropped my last name though because I go by my middle name and wanted to keep my first name. I had no problem taking Hubs name though and I got married at 28. I personally feel thats how it should be. Afterall, that's how we got our maiden names in the first place, our mothers' took our fathers'.

REBrown said...

I dropped my middle name completely and moved my maiden name to be my middle name. It would be weird if you went by your first and middle names though. You just have to find what works for you!

Mrs. Pancakes said...

lol..i love this...my story is similar too. the hubby and i were just discussing this and i am definitely adding his name to mine...i just can't get raid of my name completely! glad you wrote this...sounds like lots of people can relate including myself!!

Jenny @ Practically Perfect... said...

Completely understandable :-) I was happy to drop my maiden name because it was weird, but I don't see anything wrong with a girl keeping the name she's always had!

MissBrightside said...

I go by my first and middle name, so I was in the same spot. I also wanted to keep my last name. I felt like it was part of me. However, I should have done what you did and just added on. Instead, I hyphenated my last name and it has been the biggest headache of my life!!! I went from a last name no one could pronounce or spell to a hyphenated name that no one could pronounce, spell or put in alphabetical order!

Natalie said...

I wish I had dropped my middle name or done like you & just added my maiden name to have two. Instead, I just dropped it. I kept my middle name. However, I gave Cheeks my maiden name as her middle. And I admit to having thoughts of maybe having grandbabies with it.

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