Saturday, July 7, 2012

I Foof, Therefore I am!

Today's post comes from Sarah whose blog is Classy and Fabulous! Seriously, this girl is HILARIOUS, and she's not afraid to tell you things. Things such as about her lady bits, foofing, wine, fashion, her CUTE English teacher boyfriend, and well much more. If you're not a follower of hers, I suggest you head right on over and click that GFC and add:) Seriously, she's great!

Oh man, Southern Belle and I go waay back in blogworld… I actually looked it up, and she first commented on my blog in 2010, so we’ve basically known each other forever. 

I have loved her blog for a long time… so I’m thrilled to be guest posting here.  Even if the topic is mortifying BEYOND belief.

So, if you don’t know me, I’m Sarah from Classy & Fabulous.  And this post is anything but classy.

My boyfriend, Mr. RH, is perfect in many ways.  He’s polite (please AND thank you), prompt, and kind.  It’s annoying.

Early in our relationship, he mentioned that he detested couples who let their “bodily function freak flag” fly around each other, especially on purpose.  Those couples who have burping contests and toot machine gun wars.  Or something like that.  (God, WHY AM I WRITING THIS?!)

And it stuck with me.

As a person, I am not a burp-er.  No problem there.

On the other hand… I have been known to… foof.  For lack of a better term.

My boss (who is very thin) and I have a theory… the thinner the person, the more foofing that happens.  Why?  Simple – less space.

 One of these people foofs.  And, one of them LIES about it:)

Anyway, back to the story at hand.

In March, Mr. RH and I took an overnight trip to Chicago.  All was well, I was able to keep my foofing to an absolute minimum.

Until after dinner one night. We went out somewhere (no clue where?) and came back to the hotel.  We were both exhausted from walking all over, so we collapsed onto a comfy couch in the lobby to check email and be lazy.

I had my head on his shoulder, just dozing and looking at nothing.

Out of nowhere – the tiniest, sneakiest foof EVER.  Squeeeak.

I sat bolt upright.  What the heck was that?!

For the first 30 seconds, I was convinced it was Mr. RH.  Deny, deny, deny.

Of course, he was laughing hysterically cause he knew that it wasn’t him.  OR SO HE SAYS.

To this day, I will never, ever live that down.  I have tried to convince Mr. RH that bodily functions are good and that foofiness is next to godliness… but I don’t think he’s budging.

What a foof-head.

 Personalized Gifts


Amanda said...

I don't do things like that in front of anyone but my Sister.. Until I was pregnant. Oh man! So embarassing! It just came out, everywhere, all the time. :(

Desiree Lynn said...

Hahaha! I can just picture this scene and your expression. Cracking me up. When I was prego it was awful! I was so embarrassed!

Unknown said...

My fiance never farted around me. He would get up and get ready for work and just blow up in the bathroom. {He thought I couldn't hear him}

That went on for a few years and then he had a Colonoscopy and I took him and was back in recovery with him and they said he had to foof before they would release him.

He didn't want to but I finally told him I have heard you every morning for years. You go to the bathroom and you think I can't hear it but I do.

Dreams Do Come True


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