Tuesday, June 4, 2013

It's official...

Well, ladies, it's official. I will start Clomid tomorrow. My doctor recommended, and I thought it was best considering it's summer time. If there are side effects, I won't be in school and can see how it affects me. 

In all reality, there is the possibility we could have multiples, like twins. I know this sounds crazytown and completely cray-cray city, but I almost would rather have twins and be done. I'm tired of how emotionally draining infertility is on our marriage, how hard/lonely it is, and I'm so tired of taking medicine and having side effects. I just want to be done. But I can't give up. I can't give up on the chance that we could possibly have our own biological child, and so, we persevere. 

So for today, this is what is on my mind. 

Don't forget to enter my giveaway for the swim suit from Albion Fit. It ends tomorrow!


Megan R. said...

Good luck and prayers for you!

Stephanie said...

I know I don't know you well but have read your blog for a while and just felt absolutely compelled to leave a comment on this post.

First-I am not trying to conceive any time soon and have never dealt with infertility so I cannot physically put myself in your shoes. That being said, I really don't want this to come off as being negative..at all...I swear!

My sister-in-law had trouble getting pregnant, had a miscarriage, tried for another year and her doctor put her on clomid. She took it for ONE month and BAM...not just twins...but triplets...something her doctor told her was NEVER possible.(She's due this week). While, yes, triplets are exciting from the outside looking in, I've seen (kinda) what it's like from the inside and if there's one thing I've learned personally from her pregnancy is that Clomid is one drug I would never ever consider taking. Yes, babies are miracles, especially when it's extremely hard to make one (I can only imagine?!) but my poor sweet SIL has been on bedrest for 12 weeks now...10 of them being in the hospital. She cannot walk and doesn't even have wheelchair privileges. She literally lays in bed all day, every day, with the exception of going to the bathroom, and even then she has to use a walker. She is absolutely miserable, in so much pain, scared, anxious, nervous and terrified. All because of a drug she took for one month...her life has completely and utterly changed. She was a very successful physical therapist but with 3 babies, she will probably never work again (or at least not for a very long time). Her body has been to hell and back...and I'm not even referring to the 60 lb weight gain...he bones hurt at this point and it's all she can do to move. She's on an emotional rollercoaster and I can't even begin to tell you how thrilled she is for this week to be here obviously to meet her baby girls but also so she can FINALLY start to have a semi-normal life again...one where she can actually walk without using a walker, sleep in her own bed, walk to the toilet on her own, not need someone to get up to get her a drink of water, etc.

Like I said-I really don't want this to come off as "Negative Nancy"...I promise that's not my intention at all...I just know if you were my "real life" friend, this is what I'd be telling you.

Either way-babies...whether there's 1, 2 or 3 in there, are precious blessings...and just one baby really takes a toll on your little body, family and lifestyle...times that by 3. It's a hard pill to swallow. Don't get me wrong I am STOKED to be having triplet nieces but I can't lie and tell you I'm not terrified of their and my sister-in-law's health during and after delivery.

Best of luck to you and your husband! I know that has to be so difficult but it will happen...when the time is right! ...coming from someone who's never had babies before lol :)

Laura B @ Walking in Memphis in High Heels said...

I'm hoping for the best for you!! ; )

Stephanie said...

Ok so I just tried to leave you the longest comment in Blogger history (no really...it was long! LOL) and for some reason it didn't post. Oh well...

Basically...my SIL took Clomid for ONE month and is now pregnant with triplets. She's been on bed rest for 12 weeks now, 10 of them being IN the hospital, unable to even walk on her own to go to the bathroom. You get where I'm going with this and I can only imagine how tough a decision like this can be but just know that if you were one of my "real life" girlfriends, I'd be telling you to throw that stuff away.

Either way-I know I'm just some stranger in blogland and I REALLY don't want this to come off as negative but I've seen what it does physically, mentally and emotionally to be expecting 3 babies and I would never wish it on anyone. Either way-best of luck to your and your husband! Though I don't have any kiddos of my own, from being around my SIL I can definitely tell it's an adventure!

You can read all about my SIL's pregnancy here: www.theteampatterson.blogspot.com

Classy Fab Sarah said...

Hugs, friend.

katherinebee said...

Good luck! Clomid made me kinda crazy, but I did ovulate. Fingers crossed for you!

Chasity @ Haute Mommy Blog said...

I haven't been there, so I can't even begin to know what you are going through. I have several friends who have had success (one baby!) with Clomid. One best friend used Clomid for her first and has two more with no medicine involved. :)

Just wanted to wish you good luck.


Sara said...

Sending lots of prayers up for you and your husband. Keep us posted!

Catherine said...

I think it's great that you've switched over to clomid. Your doctor might tell you to take in the morning, but I take mine at night just before bed. The only symptoms I have ever had is bitchiness (not that often) and a few hot flashes, but nothing major. This is exciting and the risk of mulitiples is only like 2% or something. I'm like you, I would love to have twins if it happens. If you don't mind me asking, are you doing this cycle monitored? I'm so full of hope for you!

francyface said...

I wish you the best of luck. I know how incredibly hopeful and heartbreaking the infertility journey is. My husband and I tried for a year and a half to conceive with no luck. I was referred to a specialist and while they could not name the problem they knew there was one. I was on Clomid for a couple of months (I did not have any side effects from the medication at all), then two rounds of injectibles and IUI, and finally injectibles for IVF. The first IVF transfer did not work, but thankfully the second time did. Now we have the blessing of a beautiful 7 month old girl.
I remember how hard it was going through all of it, the diagnosis and feeling like I was broken or damaged in some way, and how awful it was to hear about friends getting pregnant - had a small baby boom among friends during that time - and how horrible I felt for feeling so sad about their joy even though I was happy for them too.
Sorry for the rambling...all this to say I am praying for you stranger across the internet and hoping the best for you in this difficult process.

Lauren said...

Clomid only increases the chance of multiples a teeny, tiny bit - really not a material difference. I know lots of people who got pregnant quickly (with just one baby!) after starting on it. And if this doesn't work, there are lots of other options, too. Hang in there!

Sarah said...

sending prayers your way!!


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